up high in vertigo (you lift me to wonder)
by bleuboxes
Summary: Sirius says her name with a bit of malice; Petunia gathers he doesn't like her very much. Perhaps it's because she's pressed petals and smooth, dainty hands, while he's worn leather and the smell of motor oil. Regardless, there is something about the way that he annunciates her name that sounds almost nice, not that she's paying attention [muggle/high school au]


Petunia Evans is one year her sister's senior. She is tall and skinny; vibrant blue eyes peek out from long, blond lashes and bold black frames. Her long blonde hair lays wavy on her back. Petunia likes bright floral patterns, short skirts, and an occasionally flowing sundress. Her neck is too long but adorned with one of her mother's old necklaces. Her nails are meticulously painted a pastel blue but chipped at the edges because she's got a bad habit of biting them when she's worried.

She reads Shakespeare like it's her job (even though it's obviously not, as she's only a senior in high school), she likes classical music, and bygone times.

Petunia over analyzes everything, takes a mathematical approach to life, and truly adores sitting outside on a rock in the woods behind her house and just, listening to the world.

She is smart where it counts and plays aggressively to her strengths. She has a ruthless wit and relishes the opportunity to rip someone apart during a debate.

There are several things Petunia Evans is not. She is not beautiful. She is not a pushover. She is not like her sister.

Mind you, Petunia cares for her sister very much; Lily is kind and trusting and beautiful. Lily's got grass-green eyes, beautiful red hair and cheeks that are littered with freckles. Lily likes punk music and classic literature. Lily is charismatic and lovely and magnetic. She loves long dresses, ripped jeans and comfy shirts.

Lily loves modern art, chaos, and change.

Petunia loves her sister, discord and all, but sometimes, she grows tired of living in the shadow of Lily.

* * *

Petunia is nothing if not orderly. She's got her life, Lily's life, and her friends lives meticulously planned out. Petunia's been like this since she was little, and she's not sure how lily hasn't grown to hate her for it, because sometimes even petunia finds her excessive planning annoying.

Regardless, Petunia likes to be prepared and to be in control for any situation that's bound to occur.

Like last year, for instance, when Vernon Dursley asked her to prom, Petunia knew a week in advance, was able to ask Lily's friend Remus (who she gets on with quite well) before Vernon got to asking her and was able to let him down easy.

Vernon now hates her, but petunia barely counts him as a person, so there's no love lost.

In all her eighteen years of living, Petunia has been able to be at least a little prepared for most of the major events in her life.

Petunia was not prepared for Lily to somehow make amends with the boy that's been a menace to her for most of her life.

That's why she's a little confused to see James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew sitting around the television in the living room watching Lily and Marlene battle it out on Mario Kart on a perfectly normal Saturday in October.

Petunia's only just come down the stairs; she slept in late, and when she woke up, she decided to finish reading _Sense and Sensibility_ – she only had about twenty pages left and there isn't anything like the satisfaction of finishing a good book.

Needless to say, she isn't looking her best; she's barely got shorts on and under her extra-large sleep-shirt, she's not wearing a bra.

Again, that's not really a problem because Petunia's got tiny boobs and she's really quite happy that way, but it's the fact that she looks like any regular Person when she's got company at her house that almost sends her into a spiral.

That's not even accounting for the fact that the company at her house accounts of several good-looking boys.

She wants to fret, but she doesn't. Petunia casually walks by the doorway to the living room as casually as she can. She pours herself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. She takes her leisure eating it. She does the dishes, and then decides its as good a time as ever to head back up to her room (so that she can look like a normal, human, person again.)

She starts the journey back up the stairs, but she's caught; Lily's no longer playing – she's swapped her remote with James, and while in the midst of a conversation with Sirius, she looks up and waves at her sister.

Petunia glowers angerly, but it's not subtle enough to go unnoticed by the present company; Sirius bursts out laughing, and before she knows it, she's forced to join the crew on the couch.

She could be doing a million other things than sitting on the couch between Sirius and Lily, but here she is, angerly listening to funny conversations about terrible junior year is and loud shouting over blue shells and cheating.

When Marlene loses to Peter, she's forced to hand the controller over to Petunia, and Petunia's found a new determination within herself, her tiny shorts, and her sleep shirt, to win this Mario Kart arrangement.

With spite as her motivator, she wins the whole thing, and gains a few friends in the process. Sirius is so impressed with her terrible victory chanting and dancing, that he doesn't even make a crack at the fact she looks like she literally just rolled out of bed (as he had been doing while she beat his ass at Mario Kart).

* * *

Lily makes the mistake of calling her _Tuney_ one day at lunch, and Petunia doesn't think she'll ever live it down.

It's not like she's embarrassed about it; it's just, that's lily's name for her and it only sounds proper when Lily says it. She doesn't like the way _Tuney_ rolls off the tongue of James Potter – it's too comical and there's not enough oomph behind it. Peter makes it sound like she's in a cartoon or something, and Remus is smart enough to realize that it's a thing just for Lily and Petunia, so he doesn't join in.

Sirius says it with a bit of malice; for some reason, Petunia gathers he doesn't like her very much. Perhaps it's because she's pressed petals and smooth, dainty hands, while he's worn leather and the smell of motor oil.

Petunia is soft, and Sirius Black is not.

Regardless, there is something about the way that he annunciates her name that sounds almost nice.

Petunia pays it no attention and tells the lot of them to fuck off because _hey, at least her middle name isn't Fleamont._

* * *

The winter formal dance is coming up, and for the first time in Petunia's high school career, she's considering not attending.

Why? She isn't really sure, which is another thing that's a little concerning. She planned to go to this dance; she picked out a dress in October with Lily, she's going to go with Dorcas and her boyfriend to take pictures beforehand, and she's going to Marlene's with Lily after the event.

Except now, Marlene canceled because they're all going to James' house before the dance, and well, Petunia gets a certain type of grumpy if one thing gets skewed.

(Lily tells her she has to go; she looks so pretty in the dress and it'd be a waste if she didn't wear it. Plus, Lily tells her she wants to get cute pictures with James before the dance, and she trusts only Petunia to take good ones.)

So, she goes.

She puts two dainty waterfall braids into Lily's hair. She curls her own hair the same as she usually does. She has Lily do her makeup; just because Petunia likes the way Lily does her eyeliner.

Lily has Petunia zip up her dress, which is a brilliant green color. It hugs to lily's body, making her look even prettier than usual. A few years ago, seeing Lily look this way would have made Petunia feel rather excessive jealousy, but she's grown since then.

And its not as if Lily can control the way she looks.

But Petunia, well, not to be too vain, but she really does think she looks good. She's wearing a strapless dress; the top is black and tight to her skin, it's got a clinched waist. The skirt goes about to her mid-calf, but it's full of silvery and black triangles.

Petunia's never really felt beautiful before, but she thinks that's how she feels now.

Lily forces her into taking a selfie for her snapchat or something. Their mother has them take a few pictures together by the garden, then they're off.

Petunia drives to James's house. She lets Lily pick the music, which she thought was going to be more of a mistake than it was; Lily puts on the Frank Sinatra playlist she made for Petunia's birthday and Petunia really can't honestly remember a time she felt this happy.

When they get to James' house, they meet his parents at the door. His mother, Euphemia, is instantly taken with Lily, as she should be. Petunia is immensely proud of her sister. James' father is just as fascinate with Lily as his wife. They walk through the doorway and into the back yard, where James, Sirius and the rest of their friends are waiting. Euphemia eventually lets Lily breath and talks to Petunia.

James' mother is a sweetheart; she tells her she looks beautiful, and that she loves her dress – and goes on a tangent on how she did have a dress like that back in the day (it really is a charming anecdote). She asks about Petunia's college plans – where she's planning to go, what major, and that sort of thing.

Petunia responds like she usually does; she's waiting for responses and she's going to major in English.

Somehow, they get on the topic of favorite books – Petunia's about to go off on how much she hates people who say Dicken's was too wordy – when Lily pulls her away.

"It was lovely to meet you!" Adds petunia quickly, then she turns to her sister, "Isn't she just the most wonderful woman?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

They meet their friends and take pictures.

She's very sure she saw Lily and James kissing behind the rosebush, but she doesn't have it within her to embarrass her sister. From what she's been forced to listen to, she's gathered Lily's rather besotted with James, and well, if he makes her happy, then what else is she to say?

She's fairly certain that Sirius also catches them, but Petunia feels she has a deep obligation as Lily's older sister to make sure Sirius doesn't muck up the romantic gesture.

So, she stares him down, and watches him attempt to meet her gaze, but eventually wither under it.

Petunia is nothing if not headstrong, and if she needs to stare down a handsome boy to ensure her sisters happiness, then so be it.

Speaking of handsome, she keeps finding her gaze fixated on Sirius, which is very unlike her. While he's clearly the best-looking boy in that group, his beauty hasn't ever really phased her before. Petunia isn't really the one to be fixated on the human aesthetic of beauty, but there's something about the way his long, dark har falls, the sharp angle of his jaw, the storm grey of his eyes, and the way he fills out the suit he's wearing. She likes the black chips of paint on his nails, the slight stubble on his chin, and the way his laughter can fill a room.

He's got wit and _by god_ he's a fucking pain in the ass, but there's just _something_ about him that makes Petunia feel different.

Whether or not he catches her glancing not-so-subtly at him is a good question, but she catches him checking her out a few times, and that has everything to do with the permanent smile etched on her face (and Euphemia's mischievous glances at her adopted son).

* * *

Petunia ends up driving Lily, James, and Sirius to the dance. She lets Lily pick the music, and this time, it's not Frank Sinatra, but some band called CHVRCHES. They're synth and loud and not the least bit melodic, but Petunia likes the word, and allows herself to like the music.

The dance part of the evening, well it's fine. She ends up dancing with Remus and Mary for most of the night. Occasionally they see Sirius pop by – he'll shake his ass three times, wink at her and Remus, then fade back into the crowd. The music is okay, but her friends make it worth it.

After the dance, at James' house, is a mess. It's chaotic and fun, and for the most part Petunia's having the time of her life, but then she accidentally comes across Sirius kissing a sophomore, and, well it's fine, really.

Except its not.

However, she's the king of cool, and walks right by the pair to grab a beer from the fridge (that's the first sign she's not alright – Petunia fucking hates beer). She coolly walks out of the room where the couple is kissing and makes a break for the bathroom.

She doesn't cry about it; Sirius Black can kiss whomever he'd like. He's not hers, and she's only just come to the realization that she might be a tiny bit enamored with him. Instead, she does what she does best; she turns on annoying pretentious classical music (trying to drown out the loud music that James' is blasting from the speakers in the basement) and tries to figure out a way to make Sirius Black consider her a good friend and to make him realize that she would maybe like to be the one he's kissing.

* * *

This plan is easier said than done.

Sirius Black, she soon learns, is a force that cannot be reckoned with, no matter how hard she tries.

Its more than annoying on several occasions because now that Lily's dating James, Sirius is at her house an awful lot (usually its just to be an ass to James because they're basically brothers), and she wants to be able to at least be a friend to him.

He, apparently, does not want to be a friend to her, as he lets her know on several occasions.

She's too orderly, too feminine, too fixated on school. She's too opinionated over issues that don't matter, and too reliant upon her stupid schedule. He's got a list of issues with her at least a mile long, and it bothers her – it bothers her that he's got so many complaints about who she is, and what she likes, and who she wants to be.

And so, for the first time in her life, Petunia decides to abandon a plan. She's got no reason to waste her time getting someone who is mean, rude, and cruel to like her.

It doesn't matter how handsome he is – she deserves better than that.

* * *

It's after she damns the pan to hell that he starts to come around.

She really thinks that Lily mentioned something to James and that James told Sirius to get his act together, because that's what usually happens when you tell Lily anything, but she's not going to complain.

It's nice to be able to talk with someone instead of them picking everything about you to bits.

And it isn't as if he ignored all the terrible things he's said about her; he's apologized on several fronts about it, and she has though long and hard about whether or not to forgive him.

She has; she knows there's more to life than petty matters like that.

They start of shaky. Sirius is very different than she is, but also very similar. They're both ridiculously headstrong, have strong opinions about literature, and care a little to deeply.

They find common ground discussing how disgusting James and Lily are, then pour out admiration for Remus, and before she can count to three, he's coming over to have her beat him at Mario Kart and they're sending each other nonsensical memes via text.

Sirius keeps her on her toes – she's always got to be witty and alert around him. What's even better is how she makes him laugh – no ones really ever gotten her humor before - it's dark and subtle and more often than not sarcastic. Petunia picks her words thoughtfully always, and she takes great pride in getting people to laugh.

And, well, not to be dramatic or anything, but she really does think Sirius has a wonderful laugh. Not only is it the most joyful sound, but it makes his whole face light up with the purest form of happiness. His eyes crinkle up with laughter lines, and he does that thing like Chris Evans does – grabs one of his pectorals like it's so funny he's dying. Its endearing and it makes Petunia like she isn't just Lily's Older Sister.

Sirius may be her opposite but he's also her equal; there's a balance between her proper manners and his devil-may-care attitude. There's a middle ground between her lights and his darks.

Petunia grows to like the differences; they accentuate the positive attributes in the two of them.

* * *

Lily figures it out first, and Petunia doesn't believe her.

There's no way Sirius Black is going to ask her to prom.

But – according to Lily – James heard Sirius talking to Euphemia about the scenario, and apparently, it's no secret to everyone but Petunia that Sirius fancies her.

Again, that doesn't make sense, because just last week she was talking to Sirius about his possible prom dates (and she wasn't even in contention) – the fact of the matter is this; Sirius just might be her best friend, and while Petunia does still consider herself to be rather infatuated with him, she's learned not to expect beautiful boys to like girls like her.

So, she doesn't expect him to ask her, and she's only a little disappointed when he asks Emmaline Vance instead.

She's Petunia Evans, so she puts on a happy face, and weathers the storm.

* * *

As it turns out, she gets a fuck awful case of Bronchitis before prom, so it doesn't even matter that Sirius didn't ask her because she can't go.

Which again, not in her plans, but she's since learned that one can't really plan for everything.

So, here she is, sitting on the living room couch, 'Jane the Virgin' is on the TV in the background, while Lily comes in and parades around in her dress. It's navy blue, and backless with a big slit up the side. She looks beautiful – really _truly_ beautiful.

Petunia isn't even a teeny bit bitter about it.

James comes over only a few minutes later to pick up her sister. He too looks quite dashing -it seems like he's almost got his wild mane tamed.

Then Lily goes and messes it up again.

He looks at her like she's hung the moon – and Petunia smiles despite herself.

She mutters out a froggy sounding clutter of words wishing them well tonight as James, Lily, and their parents move outside for pictures. If Petunia had pants on and didn't feel like a semi-truck ran over her, she would have joined them outside.

Instead, she texts lily, and makes her swear to send her tons of pictures.

She then promptly falls asleep.

* * *

Petunia isn't sure what time it is, exactly, but she knows she's been woken up from a well needed nap because someone decided it was a good idea to sit on her. She shouts a bit, but it's sad shouting because she's got bronchitis. She's also got to pee, so she shoves the body of her person with her legs and runs to the bathroom.

When she runs back to the couch, she finds Sirius sitting on the floor next to it. He's lost his suit jacket, and his bow-tie is loosely strung around his neck. The top three buttons on his shirt are unbuttoned and the sleeves are rolled up. His hair hangs over his face in waves. Petunia thinks all he needs is a cigarette and a lamp-post to look like a stereotypical bad boy. How he always manages to look this good is beyond her understanding.

She's suddenly painfully aware of her short sleep shirt and lack of pants. She does her best not to act embarrassed.

She walks back over to the couch, jumping the back of it to get back to the niche she's made herself with blankets and pillows

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asks, once she settles back into her spot.

Sirius sighs dramatically, "Can't you ever just be happy to see me."

"No." she deadpans.

"Emmaline bailed on me – ended up going with one of the Greengrass girls."

"Lily told you I was sick?"

"Lily told me you were sick." He admits with a smile.

"Well, you didn't need to come here to wish me well, you know." She says, "Prom's much more fun than getting my gross Bronchitis germs."

"Prom's more hype than anything." He shrugs, "Plus, it would've been more fun if you were there, to like, subtly roast everyone."

"Aww, Sirius," she laughs, "it's almost like we're friends."

"We _are_ friends, dumbass."

"But you missed me, you big softie." She teases, nudging the back of his head with her hand.

"Oh, shut up." He runs his hand through his hair. Petunia gulps. Its quiet for a moment.

"So, Emmaline ditched you?" she asks, curiously. He jumps into a monster of a story – one that's got background info and a ridiculous amount voice imitation. Petunia almost feels bad for him, because in the end its quite evident that she was only using Sirius to make the Greengrass girl jealous – and it worked, and now, as it seems, they're living it up at prom, while Sirius is here on her living room floor.

She's just a little confused as to why he sounds so glad about being ditched at prom. (So maybe she holds onto a tiny thread of hope, but that's it.)

Then Petunia burps, and the two burst into fits of laughter for a good ten minutes. Then after that, somehow, they're watching 'Mama Mia' on Netflix, and _of course_ , Sirius knows all the words to every ABBA song, and Petunia cant help but laugh. He, despite her loud and blatant protests, joins her on the couch.

She's very sure she's going to have a heart attack when he starts singing along to Take a Chance on Me; he takes her hands, and stands up, as if he expects her to dance with him.

And, well, she's an absolute fool for him, so that's how she ends up dancing to ABBA with Sirius Black in her underwear in her living room with Bronchitis instead of going to senior prom.

Maybe there's something in the air – maybe it's the way he's looking at her like she's everything - or maybe it's because she's just really fucking sick and tired, but she really, really, really would like to kiss him.

So, she does.

It's wonderful.

He clearly was not expecting Petunia to make the first mood, and she's glad she caught him off guard. She, too, is a bit caught off guard; she's been expecting that when he'd kiss her, he'd be rough – hungry almost – but he's not. He's gentle and careful and really quite wonderful.

So wonderful that Petunia can't help but smile.

She then feels a cough coming on, and quickly turns her head away.

"I'm gonna get sick now, aren't I?"

"Oh, most definitely. And it's awful."

"Well, If I'm already doomed to get Bronchitis, might as well do that again."

"Yeah? And what's 'that'?"

"You're gonna make me spell it out, _Tuney?"_

"Yeah, I think I am," she smiles.

He bursts into song again, then kisses her.

"I'm absolutely enamored with you," she sighs. He pulls her into his chest as they sway, despite the fact the music's stopped and it's just dialog coming from the TV.

"I appreciate the use of that word," he says, and kisses the top of her head, "because I, too, am absolutely enamored with you."

She coughs again. He laughs.

She can't think of another time where she's felt this good.

* * *

They finish the movie in each other's arms underneath a pile of blankets. Petunia's half asleep when he interjects:

"I like the Hello Kitty panties."

"Fuck off, Sirius."


End file.
